Thursday, December 19, 2013

Paca Prep From Last Year's Champion

Hey all,

Haven't been blogging nearly as much as I should be lately (I feel everyone has been hitting a bit of a hobby slump).  Don't worry--this will soon be rectified.

Although I typically have shit ideas, I thought I could do a similar post to Mike Hengl's recent post on his prep for Paca. Something along the lines of a response, but also representing my disdain for him and his weaselly ways. Also, he smells. But I'll get to that later.

If you haven't, go check out Hengl's stuff on Hinge Hammer at It's good shit and much better than my own.  And yes, I just complemented the fucker. It doesn't happen often.

Gotten a chance to read it? Well too bad, I'm doing my shit anyway.

It seems Hengl has likened me to the magnificent Ivan Drago of Rocky IV. You can see my glorious avatar here:

God damn--look at this majestic fuck.
For those of you familiar with the Rocky movies, you know just how wonderful of a comparison this is. For those of you not so familiar, Drago is the "villain" of Rocky IV. After Drago kills Rocky's long-time rival, current sweaty man-buddy (Apollo Creed) in the ring, Rocky makes the terrible mistake of challenging the Russian monster to a fight. And then we have another 30 minutes of training montages and a big title fight. Standard Rocky stuff.
Interestingly enough, I managed to take down not one, but two of Hengl's clubmates at last year's Paca (Ed Philips and Que Bohn).  My memory is a little hazy, but I'm pretty sure both of them looked exactly like this:

Pretty sure they died.

In order to avenge his fallen clubmates (and to be a dick), Mike "Rocky of the west coast" Hengl has challenged me. Big mistake.

For those that have seen Rocky IV, you know that Drago is the emotionless, brutal, and machine-like fighter that basically beat Rocky into shitting himself for 9/10 of a match.  What you might not know is that Drago is quite possibly one of the most misunderstood characters ever (check it: Drago not only beat Rocky into legitimate brain damage, but also, according to this incredibly intelligent, well-documented source, also threw the fight because he loved American values so god-damned much. Fuck yeah.

However, unlike Drago in Rocky IV, I will not be pulling any punches for our dear friend Hengl (unless you count cracking a beer at 8am a handicap). No, I will be unleashing the full might of my well-chiseled abs and golden, spiked locks on his ass first thing Saturday morning. For America.


Now, I hear he's taking O&G. For those of you that have listened to me talk on the SkullBros podcast in recent times, you'll know that I consider O&G to be one of the hardest counters to WoC. And seeing as how I'm not going to be getting another army done any time soon, I'm likely in for a tough ride. Now, I could tailor something specifically to take on Hengl solely for the purpose of fucking with him (no lie, it crossed my mind).  He's made it extra easy for me by putting up the list he's likely to use on his blog--poor old bastard must not realize that I have internet. But ultimately this sounds like zero fun.

Instead, I'll respond in kind. Not only will I goof around a bit with my list (fuck optimization), but I'll also put my list ideas up here. He (and any of you) can look all you want and devise my downfall a month ahead of time. Zero fucks given.

Another representation of me. Only I don't overheat baby.

The List:

So when I originally set out to build a new list, my thoughts went to cutting out magic and going with 100% combat WoC (3++ stubborn disco chaos lord, warshrines to give buffs, etc). I played a few games with this kind of list and felt it to be rather "meh". It performed surprisingly well without magic, but the games became significantly less fun without a magic phase.  The movement phase was sweet, but with no ranged options, the games played remarkably similar. Thus, I'm not feeling that.  Back to the drawing board.

My latest idea has been to combine my old and new lists to create god-damn Megazord. But a straight-up list-mash would be about as effective as Hengl's dick--not very. Instead, I need to re-work some core pieces and change the style.

What to do for magic? I want a lore that allows tactical flexibility without driving people to dick-punching me after I play them. So Death is automatically out. Although it's my tried and true, it needs to be put to rest for now. I could stay marked Nurgle and try out Lore of Nurgle, but I've never been a fan. Curse and Miasma are titties, but the rest are rather so-so for a Sorcerer Lord. Shadow requires the list to be built around it (and doesn't have much use in the first turn or two). Slaanesh is extremely tempting (it fucks with movement, has some offensive damage, and even has a leadership debuff), but I would probably end up choir-bombing like a dick in at least one of my games. And no one likes that. Metal is useful, but Final Trans in another spell people hate (and the lore is rather situational). And while I'd like to be ballsy and try Fire on a level 4, it's just too terrible to consider. Seriously.

That leaves me with, you guessed it: Lore of Tzeentch.

I'm running out of witty captions. 
 Ranged punch with magic stealing and Treason. Might do nothing, might crush shit. Sounds like a blast. Throw him on a disc, give him a 2+/3++, a Biting Blade, a Chaos Familiar (for nearly 100% chance of Gateway and 60% of drinking in Hengl's sweet, sweet tears), and a little MR for anti-Death shenanigans and I'm set. Going this route gives me a terrible leadership of 8 for the army, but what's Paca without some risk?

With the Chaos Familiar on the Lvl4, I need a scroll bro. The Fire mage on Daemonic mount should suffice. Give him a Charmed Shield and a Dragonbane Gem and he's set. I love this dude, so he'll hopefully continue his badass streak.

For the BSB, I decided not to deviate from the norm. 1+/3++. Daemonic mount. Great Weapon. 3rd Eye and Soul Feeder (for gaining wounds back like a champ). Staple of my (and everyone's) lists. Unkillable dick, unless you're Roder, in which case he shits the bed and dies to skinks or some shit (seriously, he's died to skinks twice in 3 games against Roder).

The Chaff:
Most armies need chaff, but a WoC runs on the shit. Without ways to manipulate the movement phase and get your nasty units where they need to go, you're fucked. Especially if you're rocking some frenzy. My standard in this field are warhounds and hellstriders, and while they both generally suck as far as chaff goes, they're pretty much the best I've got. With the cut down to 2000, I had to drop my usual hellstrider unit (/sadface), but I managed to maintain 2 units of warhounds for drops and bullet-shields. This leaves me a bit light, however, so I need something else.
In typical lists, I rock 18 Chaos Warriors of Nurgle that operate as an anvil and a reason for my opponent to keep his units looking forward (they also take up core points like champs). With the reduction in cost and my general moving to the skies, I rethought my core points. So I ended up with 2 units of marauder horsemen, one at 7 with spears and one at 5 with flails (both with banners and Mark of Slaanesh). They'll likely just give up points like mother-fuckers, but they'll at least allow me to run at warmachines.

The Anti-Chaff:
When building lists, I always try to incorporate elements that can hunt my opponent's chaff (the bane of any frenzied WoC units). WoC core chariots (especially marked Slaanesh) are the tits at this. They hit harder than almost any chaff and can take massive punishment. So I threw 2 in the list. Because fuck chaff.

The Awesome and the Ugly:
I have a love/hate relationship with Gorebeast chariots. They're so fucking good for the points. Like, stupid good. They're super-slow, but they hit like trucks and don't die unless cannons rock the field. But because they're so good, I also hate them. I think GW undercosted them by about 20ish points. Not quite as egregious an offense as Skullcannons, but still a mistake. At the end of the day, I'm a dick, so I've thrown one into list. Slaanesh, of course, because panic checks can eat shit.
For the Ugly, I figured I could throw in a warshrine (a holdover from my new list type). It doesn't have a huge purpose in the list (buffing wizards for combat will just tempt me to make stupid mistakes) and it's a little slow to keep up with anything. You may be asking "Why, Nabroleon? Why??" Simple: it's something different. As I said at the beginning of this, optimal is not the name of my Paca this year. I've got some tricks to use with it, but those aren't getting the reveal yet. I want to see Hengl's face when the warshrine wins me the game.

I will NOT be using this model. It's uglier than Hengl (only barely)

The Grind:
Lastly, I've included a unit of 4 Skullcrushers. The list has almost no grind without them, so I don't feel bad with one big unit. Cry about it.

Seriously, cry about it. I will drink in your tears.

That's about it for the list. I should test it a couple times to see if I can handle the lack of grind and how badly I fuck up the movement phase, but I'm sure I'll just end up sending in the list blindly anyway and go from there. For all of you out there looking to take down last year's champ, drink in this list and devise ways to crush me. It's highly possible that I will be gassed after my game with Hengl and I'll be looking for a cuddle and a nap, so I'll be easy pickin's. 

Hope you all enjoy the holidays and get some hobby-time in. And prepare your livers (and your colons) for Paca!


P.S. Although I've spent a great deal of this post shitting on Hengl, I have nothing but respect for the guy (for those of you who might not get my sarcasm). So fucking jacked to start off my tournament with not only an awesome player who will likely destroy me, but one who will probably be my most fun opponent. Cheers Mike. I've got the first round of beers!


Hinge said...

lol. Well done buddy.

I can not wait for paca and our first round throw down. You had me at 8 am beers.

Johnny Hastings said...

I am very thoroughly enjoying all the trash talking and rivalry! Great post.

Rogers said...

Kick ass!

Ryan said...

Sounds like a fun list! Can't wait to see how this one turns out and to see you at the bar in the morning rocking 32 oz Spotted Cow or other cold delicousness.

Rhuell said...

What? Cold beer in the early morning, is that a mid-west thing? Don't fear, Hengl and I will make sure to bring something appropriately "hard" for out extremely hard first round matches. Most likely something that takes years to finish, much like my armies.

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