Monday, October 3, 2011

Pro Painted #1

Just to clarify off the bat, there is nothing inherently wrong with a poorly painted model. Some of us are further along on the painting path, but the cold hard hard truth is that we all had to start somewhere.

So if you can't paint well that's fine, just please, please don't post it on Ebay with the moniker "Pro Painted."

I'm coming to giiiiiiiiiiitcha!

In the Pro Painted series, I will be reviewing various models I found under an Ebay search for "Pro Painted" or "Pro Paint." I regularly peruse those searches for my own amusement and I now feel its time to bring that joy to the masses.

Not only do I hope to end "Pro Painted" abuse, but we might actually learn a lesson or two as well.

Take our Crapifex, for example. This pro hit the edges of the base with static grass. We can see it would look pretty bad even if the rest of the model had not been dunked in truck stop toilet bowl.

Moving on...

Look friend! I come with a certificate of authenticity!

Seller Protip #1: If you hit every color, your model will match every army. (and be sure to sell!)

Seller Protip #2: Logs are selling hot this time of year.

Seller Protip #3: If you're out of logs, just use a rock and bend the piss out of the weapons.

If you try to sculpt a muppet, this is what you get.

Pro Painted blister packs are the next big thing.

Seller Protip #4: If your pic isn't big enough to tell, the buyer will just have to assume the models are painted well.

Nothing wrong with this one. Just a damn fine horse I wanted to share with you all.

Remember what we learned about static grass on the sides of the base? Ditto for sand.

Seller Protip #5: The less time it takes you to paint, the more money you will get. (per hour) (theoretically)

It takes courage to turn pro.

Rodge out.


Warflake said...

And there's me questioning my ability to paint at all and then these turn up haha. There pretty bad. If anyone actually buys those they need there head checking.

Mr Saturday said...

I love picking up badly mauled (and cheap, I stress cheap) minis from ebay. Once the dettol has stripped off the inch of paint/pva/sand/glue/varnish/blutack/hair there are treasures to be discovered.

Baardah said...

I was wondering how to label my painting for selling on eBay.....whats the category above ProPaint?
If these can pass as pro paint, I'm selling my fifth ed. stuff that i painted when i was 14 as pro.......:D they look very much alike that wizard with a certificate

retroalias said...

This is GREAT stuff! It's alwasy been a pet peeve of mine for the overuse of the term "pro-painted". The reality is the gfreat painters don't need the adjective as their results speak for themselves.

I'm eager to see the examples that are uncovered in the future!!!

CZweep said...

If you earn money from painting you are a pro-painter. So they are not lying... not really...

Johnny Hastings said...

That was classically funny! Good post.

Byron said...

I like that the Ork seems to have been photographed in front of the painter's dog(?)...

I am however guilty of using the pro painted label....

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