Sunday, September 18, 2011

Sunday Storytime...

I will be heading to Core Competency in less than a week and a piece of fluff is necessary. I came up with the following for my Wood Elves. (This story can also be heard aloud in Episode 43 of Point Hammered)

The air hummed as two dozen arrows cut the sky in a long and cruel arc. In the distance, the sound of arrowhead on steel and flesh mingled with cries of inhuman pain as the arrows hit their mark. Two dozen Chaos Warriors dropped to the ground, stone dead.

"Looks like they should have upgraded to shields!" scoffed Glade Guard Champion to his closest friends, Muso and Standard Bearer.

Muso replied "Looks like it's about to get interesting, look yonder!"

A long column of Chaos Knights filled the gap left by the Chaos Warriors. Their hooves pounded the ground as the Chaos Knights brought their steeds to a gallop.

"Looks like my short sword may yet taste tainted flesh. Glade Guardians, form swordwall! We will take this foe in hand-to-hand!" A great cheer rose from the ranks.

Meanwhile, atop her perch high in the sky, Warhawk Rider surveyed the battle.

Below her mighty Treemen cut swathes throught the Marauder hordes as demonic Hellcannon shells bounced harmlessly off their thick hides. The swift Dryads laughed maniacally as they flanked a unit of Chaos Chosen, tearing them to shreds. The Wild Riders rode like drunken madmen through the chaos lines, slamming gourd after gourd of strong mead. They did not commit to battle, but taunted the chaos reserve with lude insults and obscene gestures while getting piss drunk. In the center, meanwhile, the Glade Guard were fighting fiercely, pushing back a unit of Chaos Knights twice their number.

The day was all but won yet it seemed the Warriors of Chaos had one last card up their collective sleeves. A unit of twenty Chaos Knights, led by a great Chaos Lord, positioned themselves to charge the Glade Guard in the flank and roll the whole damn wood elf line. This was it. Warhawk Rider nodded to her two companions. Instantly the Warhawks dove, screaming their fierce beaky bird cries. The Warhawk Riders met the Chaos Knights head on in a fierce double charge.

It was no fair contest. The Warhawk Riders, elite of the elite, were each unto themselves a whirlwind of doom. Each clumsy sword swing was met with a flurry of spear thrusts and beaky bird pecks. Each Chaos Knight that made a stand quickly fell, their runic armor pierced clean through in a dozen places. The Chaos Lord himself pushed back through the unit, seeking to flee in the end. He begged for his miserable life and was gutted from stem to stern for his trouble.
Victory was complete. The battle won. Glade Guard Champion turned just in time to see a Warhawk blast out two imperial gallons of milky white beaky bird shit on to the remains of the Chaos Lord. Glade Guard Champion chuckled to himself and thought of the victories to come, of all the rest of the Chaos villages they would put to the torch.

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